So we’re back to early 2016 with a bit of a short story, and one of the first matches I ever had on Tinder, a fact that does play into this story later. This story with this boy, (lets call him Dean) takes place over a quite few months, with a lengthy tinder flirtation and many failed attempts at a first date. We had conflicting schedules that often meant we were not able to meet up and hang out, though we spoke fairly consistently from April, 2016 until late October, 2016. We started becoming fairly familiar with each other, despite never having met, and our conversations were an almost daily occurrence. I would not necessarily say you While I was obviously seeing other people during this time, things with Dean never seemed to pan out time wise and kind of faded into the background. I had him on Snapchat and occasionally would receive a snap or chat but by the end of November, it fizzled out completely. I don’t even know if we still had each other on Snap, as he rarely viewed my stories, sent me anything directly or posted stories. Things went completely radio silent, and on the rare occasion he would view my stories, it would be a stupid video of myself and friends doing something a little bit weird. Rice exploding in a microwave, stupid dancing in the library at uni, nothing important that would indicate that I was dating someone.
We’re doing a bit of a time jump here to complete the story, forward to September 2018. I had been steadily dating a guy since July, and had forgotten that I had Tinder on my phone, I hadn’t responded to anyone I had been chatting with in months so it wasn’t exactly a buzzing hive of activity. But then, one night while at work, I felt my phone ping. Dean sent you a message.
Hmm. I thought, I don’t remember swiping on anyone new in a long time? Having totally forgotten, by this point, how often we had spoken back in the day. I opened it up to find what I still think to be the funniest message I’ve ever received.
“Hey * redacted first name * 🙂 x
How have you been recently??”
Stop it. No really, stop it.
How does one even respond to that? I literally could not even begin to imagine what this guy was imagining would happen, he’d message me 2 years after we had stopped speaking entirely and I’d fall madly in love with him immediately? As if 2 years going past hadn’t changed anything for me at all. If it weren’t for the total fluke of me having Tinder on my phone, even though I was dating someone, I wouldn’t have even seen the message. (to see how dating that boy ended, see the start of The One Who “Wasn’t Ready” for further details.)
I responded the next night with one of my work colleagues, not quite sure how to handle such an odd and uncomfortable situation. He offered to message back something super suggestive and try and freak him out, I suggested we find him on Facebook and he message Dean pretending to be my boyfriend (which was extra funny, as this colleague is gay.) Eventually, the resulting message was –
“Recently like… In the last 2 years recently? Yeah look, bit of a rollercoaster as I guess you’d expect for 2 years worth of stuff. Gotta ask though – cause honestly, this is a little insane. Why now? After 2 years? 2 years, mate.”
He let me know he had been going through some old messages and wondered why we had stopped talking (it was because he stopped responding back then) so he thought he would message me to see how I was, remembering that we had had a good time chatting and had been trying to plan a date – 2 years ago. That was also the last message I sent on Tinder – me asking if he wanted to hang out, him not responding for 2 years. He did apologize for how awkward and random it was, at which point I took it upon myself to message him back and tell him that I didn’t know where to start in telling him about the last 2 years, but that as flattered as I was at the thought of him messaging me after all this time, I was in fact seeing someone. I said a quick sorry to him and wished him luck, ending the message with one of my favourite sassy quips of all time –
“And good luck with everything, yeah? I hope the girl you waited 3 years to message back is keen.”